Trying to Get Pregnant? Wait this is hard?
Let’s cut to the chase: I was trying to avoid this, even scared of it my whole life. I had no idea it was difficult for some people. It can be schedules, apps, and a whole lot of science. As the non-carrying partner, you’ve got an important role to play. Here’s how to keep things grounded, supportive, and (when possible) a little fun.
1. Make It Fun (Even When It Feels Like Work)
When sex becomes about charts and ovulation windows, it is not fun.
You could find ways to make it enjoyable—laugh at the awkward moments, plan a nice dinner beforehand, or simply focus on being present.
Or… Just hunker down. This is not fun. You are trying to get something done. Lock in, focus and make it happen.
Either way, stress is not your friend in this process. Avoid it whatever way best for you.
2. Save Those Swimmers
Take care of your contribution to the baby-making process:
- Wear loose and cool: Let’s talk about it. Sperm health matters. I love these briefs and may never go back. Don’t worry, I won’t judge what size you buy.
- Healthy lifestyle: Stay hydrated. These are not great for you, but they make me drink more water. Eat well. Maybe rethink that third beer.
- Hands off: Save the little guys. One week before D-Day let them build up. If nothing else it will make the less fun sex go quicker.
3. Understand the Cycle Timing
Your partner’s ovulation cycle is now your calendar. Learn it, respect it and saddle up when that timer dings. Apps and tests can make this easier—technology is your ally. Do some research and find something that seems to be accurate. Try, right before, during, and right after. Twice a day. Whatever it takes. You saved those swimmers right?
4. Be Prepared for Plan B (or C or D)
If things don’t go as planned, this is where your emotional availability shines. Trying to conceive can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially if it doesn’t happen right away. This is your first dose of how long term a project this whole thing is. If it doesn’t work one month you have to wait a whole nother month.
Be supportive, listen, and make sure your partner knows you’re in this together.
If the natural route doesn’t work, you’ve got options. IVF, and so many other advancements in infertility treatments. Also, adoption, surrogacy—there’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach to growing a family. Discuss what feels right for both of you and be ready to adapt as you go.
5. Remember, You’re a Team
At the end of the day, this isn’t just about biology; it’s about building a life together. Stay kind, stay connected, and keep your sense of humor. You’ve got this, BabyDad.
